Flight

The natural response to stress is fight or flight, we have all heard of this, so I don't need to go into that part much. I have fought for a long time. Fought for my marriage. Fought for my dreams and hope and what I wanted my life to be. Fought to get myself out of a horrible situation. Fought to be able to get up and go to work and try to act like "nothing is wrong" with my life (not sure how well I did at this, especially since there were and are days that I just can not get out of bed). I know that there is a lot of "fighting" left, especially when it comes to the legal proceedings. But when it comes to any negativity in my daily life, I have no fight left. I just want to run away and crawl in a hole and hide. I have used up so much of my energy fighting that I am not sure how much more of that type of energy I have. This week several things have come up in my day to day activities that under "normal" circumstances would just be something else, but this week, it has just been too much. I am heading out to spend the weekend with my brother and his wife, and every time something happened this week I tried to take it as an excuse to cut and run, just for the weekend, albeit early. Work laptop's hard-drive crash, my first thought was to just take off a day and head out. People around me are being cranky, just take off!

I do not want to become an ostrich, with my head in the sand anytime things get tough, but right now, it is the little things I just can not handle. With everything else that is going on it is just too much. I know it is going to come down to balance. But in the mean time, everything inside of me is screaming to just run away.