Gone, but not forgotten

The Unmentionable's family lost a beloved family member, his grandma. She was 90 years old, had fallen a few months ago in the bathtub, and never fully recovered. She was a spunky woman, who (I am told) fought until the very end. She is now re-united with her husband of more than 60 years, as well as her sister and other loved ones. She will be missed.

I am writing about this for several reasons. Partly because she was very supportive of me during the time that I knew her and it is very sad that she is no longer on this earth. Partly because I am very confused as to what my role in this situation should be. The Unmentionable was very close with this set of grandparents. Him and I would visit them every Sunday, every week, and that continued for years. I know that this has to be very difficult for him because I was by his side a few years ago when he lost his grandpa. This time I am not sure I can be by his side. I know that he would like that. But I do not know what to do. Part of me has already mourned the lost of all of his family to me. Part of me understands what he is going through and wants to be the better person, put everything to the side and just be there. Another part is just angry at him for some recent situations (possibly more on that in another post).

I am a little scared that if I provide support in this manner, it will also provide a false sense of hope. He has already been asking for more chances (which I do not think I can yield after years and years of chances). He seems to believe our relationship is not over, and if anything is going to progress he needs to realize that I am done.

I feel a little bit like a bad person for not really wanting to go to the services.

Overall, I am conflicted and sad. It is my hopes that his family is doing okay at this time of grief and that they may be able to find some peace.

But I still do not know what I should do...

UPDATE: I decided to not go to any of the services or to send a card or flowers. I was able to grieve the loss on my own, in my own personal way. Good bye Grandma, you will be missed!