Bridges

Editors Note: Sorry for the brief hiatus, I was out of town for work and a little play, then out for work again. Silly work, always getting in the way...I wrote a few posts while I was out and wanted to makes sure they were posted.

Generally when people quit a job you hear about not wanting to "burn bridges." I knew that I would do exactly that as soon as work trickled down that I moved out and filed for divorce. I burned the huge bridge of my local family support system. This was really difficult for me to handle. I was really very close to The Unmentionable's immediate and extended family. We spent every Sunday visiting family. Most summer weekends were filled with family parties, graduations, birthdays, weddings, christenings. His parents treated me just like another daughter. I often called his mom or aunt when I needed advice or was looking to toss around ideas. I looked forward to the time spent with his cousins and their spouses; I finally had cousins my age! When they had kids, I watched them grow, was at all the important events. That is all gone. Maybe one day when the wounds have been healed, there might be some sort of connection. But overall, I burned all of those bridges in one quick swoop. I went into this knowing that. It was probably part of what was holding me back from leaving sooner. One day I will have other connections, but right now, I just feel the loss of those I had.

What has surprised me are the bridges I thought would be burned and are not. I was told at the beginning of this process that in the end I would know who my true friends are. After several years together, we formed mutual friends, his friends became mine and vice versa. A little while ago I received a phone call from one of these people, some one I considered "his friend" but also someone I became closer to since we work in a similar field. When I received this call, I was asked how I was, was told that I could count on this friend if I ever needed any one, and was told that "Hey, you both are rather rational people and that if this has come to pass, there must have been some rational thought behind the decision." I hung up the phone feeling optimistic, maybe I have not lost all of my mutual friends. Maybe not everyone think I am crazy for what the choices I have made. Sure there are some people that could not wait to "unfriend" me from the social networking sites. That is okay, The Unmentionable needs a support group too.

I look forward to the new people that I have yet to meet. The idea of the connections and bridges I have yet to build excites me. In some cases, I have my own obstacles and huddles to get over first; in other cases I have already had the opportunity to meet some great individuals.